if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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