don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
