thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
