garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
