So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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