My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
