Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
