i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
