Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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