Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
