Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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