remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize