Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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