I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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