He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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