haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
