I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
