Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
