I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
