Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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