mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Porn is love you can see.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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