I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
