I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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