Im at strip club and am horny
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No subtext here. People are naked.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
