Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
