Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
