Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
