i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
