And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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