So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
