he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
