it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
