dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
