I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize