Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
