My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
