I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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