I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I touched a dick in church today
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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