i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She needs sedatives and a leash
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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