How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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