All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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