i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
