She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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