at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just high enough for therapy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
