I'm really into asian looking animals
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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