Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
