i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
