i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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