I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
