yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
