There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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