I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
