this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
