too bad you live with your parents still
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
