Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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