Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
