sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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