There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
