I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize