These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
