i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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