I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
