We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
