i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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