they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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