I just cut my nipple shaving
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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