apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
