I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
