No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
