Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
