ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
