lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
