My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
