Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he fucked my hip out of place.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
